Pre-Departure:
2014 started off with some exciting news in March, a journey which will change my life forever. I was accepted to participate in the Universities exchange program. This meant that in approximately 4 months I will start my Fall Semester enrolled as an international student at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, USA. Get the bags ready, we’re going to America!
But first, some administration has to be taken care of.
The flights are booked (Thank you to the PGIO Travel Bursary) and the earlier you book them, the cheaper they are! Virgin Atlantic is a great airline with good prices, delicious food, and hospitality outstanding and obviously the movies are not too bad either! Next the VISA had to be sorted out. It went really quickly and the appointment at the US Embassy was not nearly as scary or intimidating as what I anticipated it to be. Do be careful to note that a SEVIS FEE is required when studying in the US otherwise one sits with a R2000 surprise! Now that the learning agreement was settled and everything else accounted for on this side, the next step was to try and hear about accommodation in Greensboro since I will be there four days before I am allowed to move into the residence. My first though was a bed and breakfast – surely it cannot be that expensive… wrong! Remember, you are paying in dollars now. I contacted my coordinator at UNCG and she connected me with the chairperson of an international society. I was soon emailed by a lovely American lady who invited me with open arms to stay with her and her husband during those four days! Therefore, do not be afraid to ask. Americans love internationals and the South is especially known for their hospitality!
Finally everything is sorted out and the countdown begins!
En so begin ‘n nuwe hoofstuk. Ons se totsiens vir familie en vriende en waag dit uit om in die verte ‘n nuwe avontuur aan te pak! Om nie net Amerika te beleef vir wat Amerika is nie, maar so ook om ‘n bietjie Afrika se hart met Amerika te deel.
Here is a sneak peak of the first two weeks…
Dag 1-2: Dinsdag, 5 Aug – Woensdag, 6 Aug 2014
TOUCH DOWN – 7:55a.m, Greensboro, North Carolina! Na ‘n 21uur vlug en 15 uur bus trip is ek uiteindelik veilig by my eindbestemming. Dit is net hoe bome waar n mens kyk, alles groen! Ek ontmoet die wonderlike Lankaster familie wat my vir die naweek inneem! Ons stap in Nasionale Parke en leer dat Greensboro vernoem is na Major General Nathanael Green wat ‘n groot invloed gehad het in die Amerikaanse Revolusie oorlog teen Brittanje. Die weer is fantasties en humiditeit hoog – iets waaroor my wit bene ongelooflik dankbaar oor was. Ek word blootgestel aan die lekkerste hoenderslaai en besef dat ek gaan moet ‘man-up’ wanneer dit kom by Amerikaanse kos porsies!
Dag 4: Vrydag, 8 Aug 2014:
Die dag begin met die idee om ‘n oggend drafsessie te vat, maar die bed is hopeloos te lekker en ek gaan dit op ‘Jet lag’ blameer net omdat ek kan! Tannie Cindy het gereel dat een van haar vriendinne se dogters my uitvat vandag om Greensboro ‘n bietjie te verken. Grace is n derde jaar musiekstudent wat UNCG toe geskuif het hierdie jaar. Haar ouers bly plaaslik en sy het te veel huis toe verlang om by haar vorige Universiteit aan te bly. Grace is ‘n sagte persoon en ons het dadelik lekker begin gesels. Sy speel al viool vandat sy 4 jaar oud is – dit leer ‘n mens net ‘n bietjie van wat dit beteken om ‘committed’ te wees. Ons het begin deur die Universiteit ‘n bietjie te verken en was dit nie n fees nie!
The Library is 8 stories high and instead of each residence having their own cafeteria, there is one large one where everybody can eat together! Really looking forward to some interesting meals this semester!
Gedurende my tydperk op kampus bly ek in die Phillip-Hawkins huis wat n internasionale koshuis is. Al wat dit beteken is dat 50% internasionale studente is en die ander 50% Amerikanse studente. Met so ‘n diverse groep is ek opgewonde om meer te leer! Ons was gelukkig genoeg dat die koshuis oop was vir ons om ‘n bietjie te verken. Ek het my kamer gesien en besef dat dit baie moeiliker gaan wees om uit die bed uit te klim met die lekker matrasse wat ons het in vergelyking met my vorige koshuis. Oor die algemeen is kampus ongelooflik mooi met die groen grasperke, hoe bome, water fonteine en kunswerke. Meer opgewonde vir Maandag kan ek nie wees nie!
On our way walking back to the parking bay, I got caught off guard with a sticker on a lamp post reading “UNCG RUGBY”. Say what?! Dink ek het sopas n paar flip-flaps in my binneste gedoen! Dit behoort interessant te wees om te sien hoe hulle vorder en of ek ‘n bietjie tips kan uitdeel – sien, Maties rugby en ek wat lewe vir Varsity Cup is mos net n voordeel vir hulle!
Na al die opwinding op kampus het ons besluit om n paar van die winkels in die dorp te besoek. Ons het begin by Target en Walmart wat absoluut fantasties is! Dit kan vergelyk word met n Game in Suid-Afrika – hulle het iets van alles! It was when I was standing in the cereal aisle when I had my first big culture shock. In front of me was more than 20 different types of cereals and it reminded me of a photo I saw earlier this year on Facebook where an old US soldier was in my shoes and said that he did not realize that fighting for freedom actually meant fighting for being able to choose between 20 different cereals. Is that really what freedom means?
Die middag het Grace en haar vriendinne my genooi na my eerste ‘girls night’ in Amerika! Dit was regtig ongelooflik lekker! Ons het stories uitgeruil, van die lekkerste snacks geeet, ‘n series met die naam Fire Flies gekyk wat tot my verbasing eintlik goed was, pizza gekry, verder Fire Flies gekyk en afgesluit met ‘n heerlike, tuisgebakte persketert. By die tyd was dit al 11uur en ek het gesukkel om my oe oop te hou na die besige dag! Nadat ek Grace en haar ma gegroet het verwelkom Tannie Cindy my en gesels ons eers n bietjie oor wat die dag gebeur het. Dit is net daar toe ek besef dat ek my foon verloor het!! Die eerste ding wat in my kop opkom is hoe my ma al die pad van Kaapstad af vlieg! Sy gaan my vermoor! DIt is ook juis een van die redes hoekom vandag se ‘blog entry’ n bietjie laat is. Gelukkig vir my het ons die foon gekry by Melissa (die meisie waar ons gekuier het) so nou kon ek ook met n rustigheid gaan slaap.
Madelein – 1 Amerika – 0!
Mag volgende keer miskien nie so gelukkig wees nie…
Dag 7: Maandag 11 Augustus 2014:
Vandag is die dag!!!! Vroeg op, tasse gepak (maar geen idee hoe ek alles weer gaan inkry as ek vlieg nie) senuwees klaar… Vandag trek ons in die koshuis in! Dis 7:50 en soos gewoontlik is Madelein die ‘eager beaver’ wat altyd eerste by n plek is! Laat my terug dink aan my eerste jaar toe my ma-hulle my by Aristea se HK huis te vroeg afgelaai het, al hoe ek uit die kar geklim het was na die derde keer wat my pa, na mooi praat, gedreig het. Haha gelukkig het ek geleer soos wat iemand eendag vir my gese het, “Sometimes you just gotta put your big girl pants on!”
Met al die bagasie laai Tannie Cindy hulle my af soos twee aanneem ouers, moet se, ongelooflik dankbaar dat ek die keer ook net iemand gehad het. Uiteindelik, is alles uitgepak, studente kaart gekry, kampus weer verken en kan myself amptelik ‘n student van die Universiteit van North Carolina at Greensboro en n trotse inwoner by die Internasionale koshuis, The Phillip-Hawkins Residence, noem. Dit is ‘n diverse koshuis met mense van reg oor die wereld! It was only a couple of minutes before we started taking those 20 seconds of insane courage which lead to the beginning of some pretty amazing stories. Die kampus is niks wat ek verwag het nie en kan met n groot glimlag se dat ek nie teleurgesteld is nie!
The people. There is so much to say but I have no idea where to start. Kom ons begin by die begin, waar almal vandaan kom. Ons is plus minus 200 internasionale studente wat van reg oor die wereld kom. Ons het Suid-Afrikaners, twee van UCT en dan natuurlik your one and only van die dorpie wat harte steel met haar historiese geboue, ryk kultuur, akkers wat op jou kop val, die oulikste eekhorings en die mooie herfsblare. Verder is daar studente van Duitsland, Uruguay, Peru, België, Switzerland, Botswana, Iran, Britanje, Italie, Ethiopië, Nederland, Frankryk en soveel meer. During my stay I will be sharing some of these stories because as Janet Litherland once said, “Stories have power. They delight, enchant, touch, teach, recall, inspire, motivate, and challenge. They help us understand. They imprint a picture on our minds”. Stories change lives.
Na n lang dag wat begin het met n holkol op my maag, het geeindig met n nuwe Japenese kamermaat wat my eerste Japenese woord vir my geleer het, “Kon’nichiwa!” (Hallo!), Friends from across the globe and lastly a place which I can call my home away from home. Don’t get me wrong, it is not easy to just put yourself out there and the different cultures is something to adapt to, but if it does not challenge you then it does not change you. Lesson learned.
Dag 8: Dinsdag 12 Augustus 2014:
Vandag is ons almal vroeg op en reg vir ons orientasie program om te begin! A couple of us girls have already clicked well together and it looks like downhill from here on out regarding friends! Ons het begin met n ‘ice breaker’ wat regtig baie snaaks was soos julle sal sien in die video wat aangeheg is. Ons het gepraat oor die Amerikaanse lewe en wat ons alles op kampus kan verwag. Ons het selfs ons Amerikaanse bankrekeninge oop gemaak en gaan more ons kaarte gaan haal. Vir die van julle wat ooit beplan om hier te kom studeer – Wells Fargo al die pad! As gevolg van hulle verhouding met die Universiteit laat hulle studente toe om n rekening oop te maak sonder ENIGE bankkostes! En dit is presies wat n student wil hoor!
While a couple of us walked around to familiarize ourselves with the buildings on campus, we walked into someone called Fred. Now Fred is a guy who worked at the University, but is also a student at the moment. This is the first American who I have met who has a very broad and dense common knowledge and who speaks SO MUCH! My ouma grootjie het altyd gese, “Mense wat so baie praat, praat nie altyd die waarheid nie” Haha ek dink wat sy bedoel het is dat mense baie nonsens ook kan praat en dit was wel die geval. We were almost late for our bus because every time we wanted to leave he started talking again! A really interesting person though!
Did someone say WAL-MART! Yay! Ons eerste trippie met die bus Wal-Mart toe sodat almal vir hulle al die nodiges kan koop – beddegoed, lampies, kos en enige iets anders waaraan n mens kan dink! Het die huis n bietjie gemis en veral vir Louise du Plessis toe ek hasie melk gedrink het! So behalwe vir die bus wat n uur gevat het soentoe in plaas van 15min was dit regtig n belewenis! Ons het so gelag en net mal gegaan! Toe ons betaal het, het van ons met kussings, beddegoed, wasgoed mantjie ens uit die winkel uit gehardloop omdat ons laat was vir die laaste bus! Ek kan nie regtig die Amerikaners se gesigsuitdrukkings verduidelik nie – beslis aan n paar maagspiere gewerk!
Oppad huistoe het die bus ons nie op kampus afgelaai nie en ons moes met al ons goed stap van die begin van kampus tot by ons koshuis – dis n hele entjie! Met die mense op die bus wat hulle koppe skud en ons wat te min hande het, was daar natuurlik n paar goedjies wat deurmekaar geraak het. Ek het n nuwe pienk haardroer gekry wie niemand weet wie, wat of waar nie? Haha it is probably a blessing in disguise since my hairdryer is starting to give in for some odd reason!
Veilig by die koshuis met nuwe goed en verlore goed, sluit ons af met ons eerste gang vergadering! We meet our RA’s (Residence Advisors) and can I just say that the third floor has the best RA also known as Elizabeth (Liz) Morton! I have never met someone so in love with elephants before! I really do admire your passion for one of nature’s most beautiful animals! This is going to be one of the best stays by far.
Dag 9: Woensdag 13 Augustus 2014:
Ek het geen ideé hoe ek dit gaan maak met die kos hier nie! Met n kafeteria plan wat ‘unlimited’ is, het ons n effense probleem. Die kafeteria het 10 verskillende pappe, maak jou eie omlet stasie, roer eiers, gebakte eiers, hashbrowns, maak jou eie waffles masjien, vrugte, worsies, beagles, plaatkoekies, toast broodjies ens. Fountain soda, juice, flavored water, ice tea and even chocolate milk on tap! For lunch and supper we have a pizza bar, a salad bar, a burger bar, chicken schnitzels and chips, wraps, toasted sandwiches, a pasta bar, a cooked meal bar (veggies), a thai food bar, a chinese section with swiss-rolls, ice-cream, chocolate mousse, cakes, cupcakes, chocolate brownies, rice cakes, baked pudding and so much more! Don’t know how I am going to adapt when I get back home again…
Dag 13: Sondag 17 Augustus 2014:
Dit is Sondagoggend en ons is amper dood van die vorige aand se wakker bly maar niks keer ons vir ‘n lekker 9uur ontbyt saam goeie geselskap nie! Vandag was n rustige dagie waar meeste mense van hierdie tyd gebruik gemaak het om ‘n bietjie wasgoed te was. Hoe weet jy wanneer iemand nie meer skoon wasgoed het nie, hulle loop of met hulle mooiste kerk klere rond wanneer dit n ‘bly-in-die-koshuis’ dag is of hulle maak juis gebruik van hierdie dag en dra pajama’s! Oh ja, moet net gou spog en se dat ek iemand geleer het om vir die eerste keer sy eie wasgoed te was! So proud of Alexis and although I would like to say that I helped to ‘domesticate’ him, I can’t, because apparently the word is not suitable according to the Belgium’s – I guess you learn something new everyday 😉
Omdat dit die dag voor klasse is besluit die Uni om almal te verwelkom met wat hulle noem, ‘Charlie’s Fountain Fest’. Hulle het ‘n klomp kos stalletjies en stalletjies wat goed verniet uitgee rondom die fontein en dan het hulle ‘n DJ wat spesiaal musiek speel. Ons het dit regtig baie geniet om ‘n bietjie dieper in die kultuur van Amerikaners te wandel! Met goeie vriendinne se geselskap, heerlike kos, speletjies, en goed wen, was dit ‘n goeie manier om ‘n suksessvolle week af te sluit! Maar vir nou is dit slapenstyd – more is n groot dagie! Eerste dag van klasse! Wies bang 😉
Dag 14-24: Maandag 18 – Donderdag 28 Augustus 2014:
Eerstens moet ek onverskoning vra vir die afgelope twee weke se stilte! ‘n Mens sal dink dit sal makliker wees om jou voete te vind, maar ek gaan nie jok nie – die eerste twee weke van Universiteit was dol! Met die opgewondenheid wat binne my borrel was ‘n goeie nags rus Sondagaand, net een te veel om te verwag. Die week het begin deur ‘n gejaag waar handboeke gekoop moes word, plek in vol klasse te kry en dan die nuwe dosente en klasmaats te ontmoet! Gelukkig vir my kon ek in al my klasse inkom voor Vrydag wat beteken hulle het my nie gedeporteer nie! Jammer mamma, maar ek gaan ongelukkig nie mamma verras vroeer op die lughawe nie 😉 Ja, dit is waar wanneer mense se “speel net die Internasionale kaart!” Dit help nog meer as jy se jy kom van Suid-Afrika! Moet net hier ook n bietjie mense se reaksies deel en vrae oor Afrika:
Rusland: “Van waar af kom jy?”
Ek: “Ek is van Suid Afrika en jy?”
Rusland: (Sy lag) “Jy is nie van Suid Afrika nie, wees nou eerlik. Van waar af kom jy?”
Ek: (lag) “Ek is ernstig. Wat laat jou dink ek is nie van Suid Afrika nie?”
Rusland: “Jy kan nie van Suid Afrika af kom nie want jy is wit. Daar is net swart mense daar.”
Ek kan net lag vir mense se reaksies en hulle algemene kennis oor ons land. Een ou het ook vas geglo dat ek my olifant klas toe ry elke dag. Daar was wel een komentaar wat my meer seer gemaak het as kwaad. Dit was die volgende gesprek:
Speaker 1: “Don’t waste your food like that you have to think about the children in Africa.” (Laughs and jokes about it – not serious at all)
Speaker 2: “Why do I have to think about the children in Africa? It is not like I can do anything for them, I live in America. I have my own world and they are not my responsibility.”
Daar is nie een sekonde wat verby gaan waar ek nie herinner word aan Afrika en al haar mense nie. Daar is nie een sekonde wat verby gaan waar ek nie hulpeloos voel omdat ek op die oomblik so ver is nie. Moet my nie verkeerd verstaan nie, oorals, reg rondom die wereld is daar mense wat hulp nodig het en ek verstaan dit, Afrika het net n sagte plek in my hart omdat dit deel van my realiteit is. Ek verstaan ook dat dit nie deel van Amerikaners se realiteit vorm nie, maar is dit ‘n verskoning om te lewe? It is true when they say ignorance is bliss.
Op ‘n ander noot…
At least the first week was not just admin but also included a society fair which was interesting. I have never come across a University with as many religious societies as experienced here. One would think that this should make it easier to find a place where one can get connected, but it made it even more challenging for me. Choices, choices! Verder het ek my eerste klient gehad wie se hare ek kon sny! Moet net spesiaal dankie se vir Alexis wie my genoeg vertrou het met sy hare en n sker! Dit was nie maklik nie, maar hy het nog altwee sy ore en geen happe in sy hare nie! #trots!
Hierdie twee weke was ook natuurlik gevul met baie ‘eerstes’! Ons het n karnivaal gehad en ons eerste CORNDOG’S geeet – moet se, hulle is baie lekker!! By die karnival het die ‘cheerleaders’ n bietjie vir ons gewys hoe dit gedoen word asook die dansgroep op kampus! Ons het lekker sokker wedstryde geniet asook die wen wat saam met dit gegaan het 😉 Daar was selfs n klein ongeluk toe ek Liz se voet oopgesny het en aangesien Amerika oorreageer vir alles, het dit gelei tot 5 brandweer mans, 1 polisie man en 2 paramedics wat in haar kamer na haar voet kom kyk het! Marijke en Louise, ek was so teleurgesteld – hulle lyk glad nie soos in die flieks nie 😉 Maar was darem vriendelik en oulik!
Van ‘n akademiese perspektief af gaan dit goed, maar terselfdertyd moet ek bieg dat ek die klasmaats en fakulteit familie by die huis mis! Klas is net nie heeltemal dieselfde nie! Ek het wel ‘n paar interessante vakke en let wel, dosente ook! One of my subjects is ‘Religion in Video Games’. Now a number of you will laugh when you first read this, but it is actually quite an interesting course and allows me to look at media and games like these, with a different lens. My other courses are Judaism, Religion in America, Isaac’s Sacrifice, and Christian Monastic Traditions and then last but not least, my favorite, Guitar! Alhoewel kitaar my gunstelling is, dink ek nie my kamermaat waardeer dit so baie nie! But then again, I provide ‘free entertainment’ and make her laugh even though I hurt her ears! Miss Marsh (music teacher) did warn us that we will ‘suck’ at first, so like they say; all good things take time I guess!
So twee weke is al verby en die tyd vlieg met die besige skedule! Elke oomblik is ‘n uitdaging, of dit nou in n pilates klas is, akademiese klas of selfs net tussen nuwe mense! Maar elke oomblik word teen volle geniet!
Personal Growth:
When it comes to challenging your comfort limits, one undergoes personal growth. I am one of those people who believe that if something does not challenge you then it will not change you. Life abroad was full of challenges, whether they were big or small. Cultural incidents like peoples moral values which are different and the way the girls dance (must give them credit though, it is definitely a talent). I struggled with allowing myself to be me without hiding behind a mask. Opening up like that and placing yourself at your most vulnerable state is definitely worth it. I got to build friendships which will last a life time.
It’s not goodbye:
And so all good things have to come to an end and unfortunately for me, the time has come rather quick. Before leaving my host University, I first had to take care of some administrative things. Firstly, the learning agreement needs to be signed by your host coordinator – VERY IMPORTANT. Then all accounts need to be closed whether it’s a bank account or a cell phone account. All textbooks need to be sold or returned if you hired them. Room keys and fobs need to be returned to your Residence Advisors and make sure you sign out. And lastly, all your things need to fit into your bag! Good luck with that one!
Then it is time to get ready to say goodbye, even though I tried to convince myself it is not a “goodbye” but a “see you later”. On the day of departure from South Africa, one is sad to say goodbye but at the same time overwhelmed by excitement and eagerness to go beyond the ocean. When you stand at that bus stop and pack your bags in while trying to fight the tears, time freezes.
Some lessons learned:
- Challenge yourself in every way possible, it is the only way to guarantee a full experience.
- Do not fall in love with someone from a different country. It is not as glamorous as in the movies when you have to say goodbye at the bus stop.
- It is okay to miss home.
- Just because you are alone does not mean you are lonely.
- The International Family is probably one of the best family members one could have.
- Crying on a plane for 20hrs while watching sad movies is needed.
Touch Down: South Africa!
The airplane’s wheels touched the ground and Table Mountain has never been so beautiful. While on the flight back I kept wondering what kind of feeling would arise in me when I step onto African soil again. To my surprise and disappointment, my body did not react in an exciting way. Yes there was a little excitement but no feeling of ‘I’m home’. How could this be? After all, Africa runs through my veins. I decided to blame it on jetlag and see how the following days would go. Seeing the family was a beautiful and enjoyable reunion filled with tears and laughter. For the next day or two it seemed okay until I realized that jetlag cannot be blamed anymore. It is difficult to get back after six months and realize that both parties have moved on with their lives in the meantime. We have all experienced different things and unfortunately for me, I don’t share the memories with someone here. That is probably the worst thing, not being able to speak to someone who understands. A lot of people ask how it was but after you reply “good thanks” they are not really interested to hear the stories or see more photos of people they don’t know. After the third time this happened I just started going quiet.
I did not know how to handle this and to make it worse, when I did speak English kept pouring out of my mouth due to habit and brother dearest got so frustrated with me. Coming back during holidays is also not the best idea because it is not like University which keeps you distracted and busy. I have been back for 50 days and have learned the following regarding culture shock when one returns. It is not going to be just the way you left it. People will have moved on. Not everybody is going to ask you how it was and really mean it. Only a couple will actually sit down and listen to your experiences, challenges and the rest of your journey. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to miss the home away from home and the amazing people you have met. It is not okay to feel sorry for yourself after a week/maximum two. You need to stay busy by reading or getting a job, just stay busy. The most important thing which I have learned is that not everybody will understand what you are going through and most people think you just returned from a holiday (which by the way is not even close to reality). Be honest with yourself and give yourself time… a lot of it. Do not try to rush the process. Allow yourself to be sad, confused, happy, lonely, angry until you become okay with it. Do not blame yourself for not feeling what everybody expects you to feel on your return.
As mentioned earlier, I have been home for 50 days and I am still not okay which is fine with me. I have decided to stop fighting the process and to give myself time. I’ve learned that it is necessary to talk about the experiences even if people are sick of hearing about it because it needs to come out. To be honest, I have been working on these blogs for over a month now. See, while typing it feels as if you are closing this chapter of the book forever and that is difficult. But I have realized that that is not true. What happened abroad will not stay abroad. The memories will always be cherished, the lessons will always be part of my guidelines and the friends who became family will be visited soon. It will never be over.
I would like to conclude by thanking the PGIO of Stellenbosch University for this unforgettable experience! Thank you for allowing me to challenge myself and to learn not only who I am or where I come from but also about the diverse global community! I am forever grateful for this opportunity! Thank you.
Lastly, if you are reading this because you are not sure if this is a challenge for you – JUST DO IT! And if you are reading this because you have already made the decision to go, I would like to challenge you with the following:
“An adventurous life does not necessarily mean climbing a mountain, swimming with sharks or jumping off cliffs. It means risking yourself by leaving a piece of your behind in all those you meet along the way.”